So you’ve decided you want to take control of your own life and manifest like a total boss. That’s awesome! We’re so glad you found your way to Psychic Mix, and that you’re about to launch into the life of your dreams, no holds barred. Now, if you’re reading this particular article, you may find that you’ve hit a bit of a bump in the road in the manifestation process— despite wanting to change, your life has remained pretty much the same, which isn’t a sign that you should give up on your dreams and settle, but rather a sign that you need to make some changes to align with the new life you want. Relax, these changes are so small, and really, for the better! When you feel better, you manifest more easily. Here are five bad habits to break on your journey with the Law of Attraction (even if you’re not actively trying to manifest anything, these five things can help you be healthier and happier):
STOP: Gossiping/speaking ill of others
Okay, we’ve all been there. Especially for women, gossip seems to be some sort of ingrained bonding activity— “Ew, did you see Sandra’s outfit? She looks like a desperate groupie.” “Wow, Matilda has absolutely ballooned. She looks like a cow.”— but when it comes down to it, gossiping about others is mean, petty, messy, and absolutely void of anything helpful, constructive, positive or meaningful. You’d think that people would grow out of this habit in high school, but adults are some of the worst perpetrators. Also, pro-tip: if you’re part of the gossiping circle, know that if they’ll do it with you, they’ll do it to you. This awful pattern of behaviour can breed insecurity, low self-esteem, and a general mistrust of people. You’re especially entrenched in this habit if you talk nastily about others while phrasing it as fake concern. If you check in on a friend who’s crying, only to leave the room and then laughingly tell everyone else about it, giggling over their pain like it’s your actual life-force, you need to reevaluate your life choices. Gossip may give you a fake sense of superiority, but that’s exactly what it is. Fake. Come on, we all know that speaking badly of others gives you a break from feeling bad about yourself for awhile, and living your best life means owning up to your insecurities, conquering them, and leaving gossip in the dust.
START: Talking about things you love
Instead of focusing on judging others, either find something genuinely kind to say about them, or do not talk about them at all. Focus on talking about things that make you truly happy: what do you like doing? How can you get other people involved? What are you looking forward to? What are your friends’ passions? Are you interested in trying something new? Plan a night (in or out) with friends or your partner, and make sure you’re paying attention to the positives. Really bask in the good stuff, and make a conscious effort to shun the bad. Gossip is a nasty habit. Shut it down whenever it starts, and you’ll have a lot less negativity to deal with.
STOP: Complaining/listening to others complain
Have you ever noticed how much you complain? You might even complain when you’re not even annoyed, or agree with someone’s negative assessment of something just to be able to contribute to the conversation and connect. But for real: it’s exhausting, and you need to cut it out. Complaining is actually one of the fastest ways to confuse the universe, because while inwardly you may be focusing on getting something, outwardly you are projecting nothing but lack. Remember, saying things like: “I don’t have enough money,” or “I can never get out of my current situation,” is only slowing the process down, because the universe doesn’t understand the word “no” and will not stop to reassure you like a doting grandparent. Absolutely do not under any circumstances complain about things that aren’t true, because the universe will match your words with your reality. It sounds like nonsense, but it’s actually true. Someone I know used to be in a good financial position, but whenever she had to spend money, would complain about how expensive things were and how she was “broke” and “impoverished” (she was not anywhere near poverty). She even went so far as to try and police others’ spending habits, saying things like: “Ha, you can’t afford that! You’re broke!” (remember to calmly correct people when they project like that: “Actually, I can afford that easily.” Correction is key, because you want to establish boundaries and stop yourself from internalizing their negativity). After such a long time bemoaning how much she does not have (that she actually had), her funds have dried up, her business has stalled, and she truly is in a state of lack.
START: Watching your words
If you’re living a positive, happy lifestyle, you won’t feel the need to complain when life doesn’t go as planned or there’s a change in your day. If you want to stop complaining and start manifesting, one of the most powerful ways to do that is to simply watch what comes out of your mouth. Too often, we spend time obsessing over the things we don’t want (an interminable line at the grocery store, raised gas prices, sitting in traffic that never seems to move, etc.), when we should be parlaying all of our energy into the things we do want, and expect from the universe. Speak highly of yourself, of others, and of your situation (no matter how bleak: keep reminding yourself it will get better, the universe has your back). Make plans for what’s in store tomorrow, with the knowledge that it will be greater than today.
STOP: Paying attention to social media
Technology is an inescapable, ubiquitous facet of everyday life, and while it has made life much easier in many ways (there’s an app for almost everything), it has also left people feeling increasingly lonely, isolated and more likely to compare themselves to their peers, creating a digital “keeping up with the Jones’s” effect that is then amplified by the aforementioned isolation. This loneliness makes people look for validation from social media, subconsciously keeping track of every retweet, “like,” or nice comment. It seems small, but to some people, getting no feedback on a picture, or a negative comment about something, ruins their whole day. Honestly, you shouldn’t base whether or not you’re doing well on social media’s perception of you; nor should you feel jealous when you see people posting about the cool things they’ve experienced.
Social media is increasingly about finding your angles, taking the best pictures, and making it seem as though The Perfect Life has been attained easily. Instead of taking a photo of your food and immediately posting it, start living. Enjoy the food you’re eating and the company you’re keeping. Instead of filming the entirety of a concert with your phone, put your device away and make real memories. Watch the sunset with your own eyes instead of through a screen, chat with someone face-to-face instead of via text. The universe brings with it unlimited abundance, and it’s time you experience life instead of missing out.
STOP: Using social media as a crutch
The internet has something for everyone, but that’s not always a good thing. A lot of the time when we’re at our lowest, we turn to online communities who either share our interests or are facing the same struggles. But if you’re trying to move on and live a better life, part of moving forward is shutting the door on your old, familiar stomping grounds, particularly if they exist solely as an echo chamber to tear something (anything) down or harp on the difficulties and struggles of something.
START: Being present in your real-life
Honestly, as much as those websites you visit or apps you use are a security blanket, it may be time to disconnect from them completely in favour of reality. Oftentimes, when we spend countless hours doing something, it can be hard to imagine giving it up, but just as frequently, when we do, we realize how much it was affecting us, and not in a good way. Choose to be an active participant in your own life, someone who can handle what the world throws at you head-on, especially abundance.
STOP: Creating drama
While most people grab onto opportunities with both hands, other people self-sabotage, and create problems and drama where none existed. While the feeling of drama can be addictive, it is absolutely harmful, unnecessary, and it will cause people to distance themselves and leave you behind. No one wants to be caught up in negativity that never ends, and you need to dig a little deeper and find out exactly why you constantly have to stir the pot. Is this a learned behaviour? Is it a defence mechanism? How can you stop yourself from overreacting, and ruining things when peace happens? Lashing out at people and trying to force them to deal with the mess you made is only going to push them away, and after so many times, even your strongest supporters will leave for calmer, happier pastures— they’ll remember how you made them feel, and some of them won’t give you a second chance to fix your mistakes.
START: Being happy
When everything is calm and quiet, it’s not a sign that the apocalypse is near, so you have to run through town screaming and clanging a bell, disturbing everyone. Calm down, chill out, and carve out a niche for yourself. Seriously, if drama was your hobby: find another one. Pick at random, try different things. Go to the gym. Take some classes, try some D-I-Y stuff. You’ll be so busy with your new activity, you won’t have time to self-sabotage (or ruin things for anyone else, either). If you find you cannot stop yourself from creating drama, please seek therapy to get to the root of the issue. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, you should be proud of actively bettering your life.
Once you stop doing these self-destructive things and start putting your best foot forward, your manifesting will feel better and happen with less effort. Good luck! Let us know if any of these things worked for you in the comments.