You cannot believe it; you are so sad and hurt you think you are going to fall apart. Nothing makes sense. You want answers and don’t understand how the person you were so in love with and so intimate with has left you like this. How are you going to live like this? A broken heart is one of the most devastating things that can happen to you and the pain is real. There is no off switch to help you take those loving feelings away and there is also no switch that will make you feel better immediately.
But there are things that you can do to help you through this awful time of your life.
The most important thing to recognise is that this is real, and that you need to grieve. If you do not face the hurt and the rejection, you cannot heal. I suggest you feel the pain— don’t try and block it off— go through those awful feelings, where you feel like you are falling apart and don’t know how to face each day.
You can expect a lot of tears, waking up in the night with dreaded feelings, and even a numbness; as if this is not happening to you. Please, although it is hard going though these feelings, name them and honour them. And slowly each day they will become less overwhelming.
Give yourself time to heal. This is a process that won’t simply be over in a day, a week, or even a month. The deeper your connection and emotions were, the longer it will take to heal. What is important here is to say to yourself “I will survive this”, and set a vision of yourself, healed and smiling. Yes, I know this is the hard bit, but try a little bit every day, building on that vision slowly and with even more positive situations. This will help you so much in the future.
After a short while I would suggest that you list all your good points including all the things you are grateful for. This may seem like too much effort, but it is really good step in seeing yourself for who you are, and what you are worth.
Build on the list as often as you can and don’t be shy, this is your brag list and even the smallest thing you should list.
Don’t forget about your friends and family during this time— they will be there for you and want to help you return to your happy self. Try and see them, go out with them or invite them over for a “I am love” get-together. Cry with them, laugh with them, and be in the moment. Crying gets rid of all that pent-up sadness and laughter is also very good, it is one off the strongest healing things you can do.
After a short while make a vision board for yourself. Take the time to imagine how you want your life to be. The happiness you will have, the partnerships, the successful career and don’t forget to add stunning clothes and jewellery you will wear and the car you will drive. Use pictures and words. For your partner, use words to describe the person of your dreams. Pin this up where you can see it every day.
Now you need to detach yourself from being part of a couple. Start recognising yourself as an independent individual. Making choices on your own and making decisions that will enhance your life. This is not easy, and it will also help if you unfriend them on all social media sites. While there may be a burning feeling of wanting to see what they are doing and who they are with— this will only hurt you more, slowing your healing process. It becomes like an addiction and it will only take you deeper into a situation where you will not heal. When you are in bed late at night and you can’t sleep because you are thinking of them, resist the urge to call or message your ex. Of course, you will still want answers and your mind will take time to come to terms with this devastating emotional heartbreak.
As the days and weeks go by, you will slowly start healing and finding joy where you never thought was possible. And as this happens, even though you are still feeling bruised and confused, start opening your heart to loving again. It will happen, you will find your true soulmate, that will be there for you.
If you need any help to mend your broken heart or you wish to discuss your bright new future, come and have a chat with me at psychicmix.com
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