Since the very first moment humans began creating relationships, so too began the “break-up”. The number of excuses used upon unsuspecting partners will rack up in the billions. However from these “billions” of break-ups throughout time, one thing has remained the same – a reason. A simply excuse or apology, something that eventually helps us to move on. “It’s not you, it’s me”, these words help us to understand and then finally accept the situation. Break-ups are tough anyway, so imagine if you never received a reason why. How would you feel? Lost? Confused? Hurt? Welcome to the phenomenon known as Ghosting. The new, cruel and increasingly popular way to break up with a loved one.
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is simply when one partner cuts contact with the other. However we don’t just mean they stop returning calls. We mean they disappear. As the name suggests, they vanish without a trace. Like a ghost, one minute they were there, and the next minute, they’re gone. Sounds too cruel to be true, right? Well a recent study showed that almost 25% of people have experienced some form of ghosting, from either a partner or friend.
Ghosting is a fairly recent phenomenon and we can track it’s rise with the increase use of social media. In the past relationships were generally formed between people who lived in close proximity to one another. People met in pubs, clubs or at work and usually always lived in the same town. However today, through technology our scope for finding love has widened. Now we can meet people and start relationships hundreds if not thousands of miles away. So, as dating habits change, so do the break-ups. Now we have the ability to delete phone numbers, block profiles and remove accounts. If you live miles from one another and there is zero chance of bumping into them at the supermarket, then cutting someone out of your life is now easy, even if it is mean and cowardly.
Why do People Ghost?
While the quicker and easier answer would be – “they are not very nice people!” – studies have pinpointed the actually psychology of the ghoster. Generally speaking, people who ghost are hiding from their own emotional discomfort. They are trying to avoid coming to terms with reality and feel incapable of facing their problems head on. Many ghosters are anxiety sufferers who will always shy away from the conflict. Essentially they choose to hurt their partner over hurting themselves. Many people today are increasingly living their lives online. A world with few social interactions, where they can hide their true-selves and block anyone they don’t like. This online world could possibly make them desensitized to the emotional aspects of the real world.
Please do not think we are making excuses for the ghoster, we are merely pointing out one of the reasons someone may think ghosting is a good idea. As Psychic readers we are hearing these stories more and more and while some are explained by anxiety issues etc others are sadly not. Some people ghost simply out of convenience and to tie-up loose ends. In the past the main place we met our partners was through friends. This means that in some way the couples circle was intertwined, meaning that sudden disappearances would be impossible. Now though, with the rise of internet dating, circles of friends are often completely separate from each other (in the beginning anyway). So if you are that way inclined and can ignore any emotional upset you may cause, then cutting absolute contact with someone is simple. Furthermore it’s easier than having to actually deal with your problems.
How to Get Over being Ghosted
To be ghosted can be one of the most painful and confusing experiences you can suffer in a relationship (if you can even call it that). One moment you are happy, everything is going well, your new partner is telling you they love you, and then “poof!” – they’re gone. The first thing to realise is – it’s not you, it’s them. Unfortunately while you thought everything was perfect, it obviously wasn’t. This is not your fault. You were being lied to. You have to understand that this person was never going to be your soulmate. This person has either many issues they need to address or they are deceitful, either way this is not someone you want to be with.
It is a natural response to blame ourselves however this is really not the case. Like we have discussed before, people ghost for many reasons, however we must understand that these reasons – these issues – are theirs and not yours. You were the unfortunate victim. Ask yourself this, if you knew this person had ghosted before, would you still have dated them? Of course not! So the silver lining is, now your free. Moving on is the only thing you can do. Why would you want to get back with this person? They never cared about you. Even if it doesn’t feel like it now, them leaving you was the best thing that could have ever happened.
Have you been the victim of ghosting? If so and you need some advice, our Psychic Experts are waiting to assist you. Click HERE to chat now.