Many of the readings I give are on the question; “Is my ex coming back?” While sometimes it shows that they are, sadly sometimes it shows that they will not. I have to gently but assertively tell that person that what has ended will remain so. Learning how to get over an ex is tough. But it is essential to moving on with your life.
“You ex isn’t coming back!” I am under no illusion that these are difficult words to hear. You may feel like yelling at your computer screen for me saying this. However, is the truth not always better than tooth fairy based stories?
It’s a sad fact but relationships end. Also when you’re not the one doing the breaking, it hurts. Sometimes it can hurt really really bad. I know, I have been there and yes it sucks!
So what can you do to alleviate the pain? How do we start getting over the past? How do we start healing to finally feel able to face your life without that “mate” whom at one time you thought would last forever?
Below are a few steps on how to get over an ex. Steps that can hopefully make this awful process easier. In the end remember, we do not need any person to define who we are and we should NEVER allow any one person to dictate our emotional state.
Cut all contact
Yes all contact! This includes Facebook, twitter, mobile phones, letters. If this is not possible due to say family commitments, limit that contact to what needs to be said. Remember you need time to heal and can’t do this with your ex in front of your face (e.g Facebook photos)
Request a Silence
Ex partners sometimes have moments of regret, giving a person false hope. If they care anything about you they will understand why you are asking for silence. Tell them you need space and time to get over what has happened – wish them well – leave no trace of hated behind you. This will help you greatly in the long run. Holding onto anger and bitterness is like walking around with a red hot brick in your hand. Start the process of letting it go – drop the rocks you don’t need!
Bin the Baggage
Clear out your home of all those memories. Last thing you need to see on a morning is a pair of your ex’s underwear or a toothbrush left from the “last time” If you can not bring yourself to throw out what is left , then box it up. Give it to a friend if you can. Tell them you will pick it back later on. Odds are you wont care less by then.
Go Easy on the Readings
Sometimes we can get so desperate that we find ourselves asking the same question over and over to multiple readers. Hoping that they will tell us something different. Trust your own instinct. Know that relationships end for a reason and sometimes we will never truly know why. Yes sadly people do fall out of love, without fully knowing why. Instead, have a reading on yourself. Your own NEW future – what is coming in for you – what YOU can do to change things for the better.
Indulge in YOU!
Your hurting right now. Your drained. You have probably not slept properly in weeks and your diet has gone to hell. You need to be kind to your soul and body. Imagine they are sick. Buy those things you tend to deny yourself. Surround yourself with home comforts if you can. You don’t need to spend a fortune, simply spoil yourself in any way you can.
Talk it Over!
Reach out to others when you feel your loosing your grip. Talk it over, explain your feelings. Know that it is normal to feel like hell. And when someone tells you that it will get easier, that you will come through this – BELIEVE THEM!
Switch The Channel
Soon as you find yourself thinking about your ex. Who is he with? What is she doing? Switch that thought immediately in your brain. It wont make any difference the first few times you do this. Don’t expect instant results – but do it enough times each day and your brain will start to re-wire. It will start to make new associates – you will start to heal!
I know you wont believe me right now, especially if your hurting from a break up. But with a little self investment, working on the inner (and outer) you and a refusal to look back comes acceptance, healing and then peace. It should not take forever …. time is subjective. But ask yourself this …. do you want to wake up every day feeling like crap for the rest of your life? Or do you want happiness, harmony and a life worth living? I think you know the answer to that.
Let it out
When you feel like crying don’t hold it back. We cry for a reason, it helps ease the pain and allows the healing process to begin. If you want to cry, then go for it. If you want to scream, then do it. For the latter I would usually find a deserted field and I would then scream until I felt my guts were hanging out. It felt so good when I was done and it will for you too.
Get working out. Get those happy hormones pumping around your body. If you don’t run then jog, if you don’t jog then walk. But workouts produce Serotonin in abundance and no matter how bad you’re feeling, after a good long bout of exercise a feeling of well being will be achieved. Live life and be active!
Finally, know that when one chapter ends another always begins. The above are only pointers, and not a set road map guaranteeing a way from our pain. But following some or all of them will certainly make this journey somewhat easier. By learning how to get over an ex you place the power in your hands. You make the steps that will alleviate the pain. Turn your head to the future – stop looking back and embrace whatever life has in store for you. Because it is YOU that makes your own future.
Be Happy, Psychic Dino